from the Column "In the Garden with Jesus"

Modesty

by Brianna C.
   

Please note before reading:  Throughout the following article, I will mention my own personal convictions.  Please do not think that I am trying to persuade you that because this is what God convicted me of, it’s what you should wear.  Each of you needs to seek God’s will for you.  It never fully made sense to me why God convicts different people differently in this area, but He does.       

I Timothy 2:9-10 says, “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.  But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”  I Peter 3:3-4 says, “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”  Most of you are probably very familiar with these verses. 

If you read these carefully, Paul and Peter aren’t necessarily saying that braiding the hair is wrong, or wearing something nice, or even wearing jewelry.  What He’s saying is that it’s the heart that matters.  God sees our heart, and the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit is of far greater worth than jewels.  If many of the ladies of today spent half as much time attaining a meek and quiet spirit as they did on their outward appearance, this world would probably be a much more welcoming place.  Without a modest spirit, we cannot dress modestly.  Because the heart is of such great value, let’s examine the “inner modesty” first, and then outward.  A girl may dress modestly, but if her actions aren’t modest, she’s no different than the girl standing next to her in tight pants and a low-cut revealing shirt.  We should be meek and quiet, rather than loud and boisterous.  You may cause attention to be drawn to yourself, but no one’s going to be “attracted” to you for it.  We are supposed to be loving, giving, and quietly serving our families (right now our parents, brothers, and sisters, perhaps eventually our husbands and children), in the behind the scenes stuff.  So many women scorn the job of Mother and Homemaker, because you’re not “out there” in the world, making a mark, telling everyone what you think.  So!  Women play a very valuable role in the home, quietly serving God and their families.  All of the famous, Godly men who have made a mark for Christ had Godly Sisters, Mothers, and Wives.

     I would encourage each of you who have not already done so to prayerfully consider your wardrobe.  I’ve been asked many times why I dress the way I do, or why I wear that, or not that, and often give this answer: “God hand-picked my wardrobe, so I just wear what he put in there.”  And it’s true.  The process took a period of months, as I became convicted of different things.  You need to prayerfully consider whether makeup is okay for you or not.  I’ve chosen not to wear it for a few reasons: God made my face the way it is, I don’t need to spend an extra 10 minutes preparing for the day every morning, and, I have absolutely no need to.  My Mother wears makeup (as do many other women whom I highly respect); it’s how my Dad prefers it.  She’s wearing it for him.  At this point in my life, I don’t have a husband whom I need to please with my appearance.  J  When I do, I may prayerfully reconsider whether or not it would be right for me at that time in my life.  Till then… J  You need to prayerfully consider whether jewelry is right for you to wear.  I typically don’t, mainly because 18 month olds love to pull on anything that hangs.  Has God convicted you that’s it’s okay for you (not necessarily for your best friend, but for you) to wear pants?  Knee length skirts?  How long should your shirt sleeves be?  And the list goes on. 
 

 As you consider this, I would encourage you to keep the following in mind.  Ask yourself, “If Jesus were walking on this earth, and came to my home, or saw me in Wal-Mart, would I be ashamed?  Or would I be able to greet him with welcome and joy?”  “Is there anything about this garment, or piece of jewelry which would draw undo attention to me?”  One trap here:  Several people have asked me, “Well, if you wear a long skirt, (and every other weird, exotic thing that goes with dressing modestly) won’t you draw a lot of attention to yourself?  People in Wal-Mart are going to stare at you, so aren’t you causing attention to yourself?  So, shouldn’t you dress a bit more ‘normal’?”  No!  Most definitely, no!  Because, when people in Wal-Mart stare at me, they aren’t staring at my form, or anything else which they shouldn’t see.  All they’ll see is my face (and, by the grace of God, the light of Christ shining there), and clothing.  They could stare at me for a full minute, and still not see much of me, per se.  In fact, in the 2 second glance they give to the girl standing across from me, dressed in a tight, revealing shirt, and extremely short shorts (if such they could even be called), they’ll see much more of her.

Another thing here is that we don’t have to dress unattractively.  J  We don’t want to dress to draw undo attention to ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we need to wear a very baggy shirt, and look “frumpy”.  We can look nice, neat, and respectable, and wear clothing that compliments us.  This is by no means wrong!  In an article, one woman pointed out that even Mennonites wear clothing that has “shape” to it.  They’re still dressing modestly.  It, again, goes back to being an issue of the heart.  I Samuel 16:7b says, “for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.”  Obviously, the heart is most important here.  However, something often overlooked in this passage is that man does look on the outward appearance.  If a non-Christian were to see a rather unkempt Christian (who may have a beautiful heart!), do you think that they’d really be attracted to Christians, and set them as examples to follow?  As long as you are not compromising modesty, it’s actually important to dress respectably.

One other aspect of dressing modestly- we need to dress like ladies!  If you feel convicted that pants are okay for you, then that’s alright, but try perhaps, wearing a feminine shirt, and wearing feminine pants.  Wearing pants and a boys’ sweat shirt doesn’t look overly feminine.  J  If we dress femininely, we’re much more likely to get treated like ladies.  Have you noticed how few men will treat women like ladies, by, say, offering to carry something for them, or holding up a door?  Have you also considered that this is probably because they’re afraid they might get their heads chewed off by an independent feminist, who feels the need to prove she’s just as strong as a male?  By dressing modestly and femininely, you’re sending off signals that you are a lady, and would like to be treated like one.  Personally, I’m thrilled when a  male goes against the “norm” and offers to help me.  Not because I couldn’t get the door myself, wait in line behind them, carry something, etc., but because it’s a demonstration of how God intended things- male and female created He them!  We’re supposed to be different, and women don’t need to prove that they’re “equal” to men.  Added to this, most men desire to be able to act like real men, but can’t, because of the women around them.  Our clothing and attitudes send off a lot of signals!

One other reason I made the decision to carefully and prayerfully consider my clothing several years ago was for the sake of protecting my brothers in Christ.  Ladies, we don’t know what kind of temptations men face, but if the Bible is any indicator, most (or perhaps all) deal with lusting after women.  When we’re wearing inappropriate clothing, we’re encouraging our Brothers towards ungodliness.  As Brothers and Sisters in Christ, we’re supposed to encourage each other to walk uprightly with the Lord.  Wearing revealing clothing isn’t getting the job done!  Matthew 5:28 states: “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”  Note the words “with her”.  Yes, men will be held accountable for their own actions and thoughts.  However, we will be held just as liable.  We’re accountable for the way we dress, and hence the struggles we cause our Brothers to have.  Hence, we need to carefully guard our actions, heart, and the way we dress, not only for their sake, but also for our own.  Adultery is serious stuff, and yet so easily committed!  

Some of this may seem over whelming- don’t get discouraged.  Though I’ve never dressed entirely immodestly, when I made the “big changes” it wasn’t all over night.  It was over a period of 6-12 months.  Also, being only 12, it was easy for me to let go of everything I’d worn before, like pants, in order to follow Christ.  It may be a struggle for you, but don’t give up!  Keep pressing forward!  May the Lord richly bless you as you walk close with Him! 

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Featured in the April 2006 issue of  With all of  Thy Heart. (c) April 2006  With all of Thy Heart E-zine