Choice Silver 

The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth.  Proverbs 10:20

The tongue.  This small unit is so, so powerful!  Almost all of James 3 is devoted to this topic.  James 3:2 says, “For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.”  The passage goes on to describe some things that are controlled by a small unit- a horse by a bit and ships by a small helm.  James 3:5 says, “Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!”  It takes only a small spark to start a massive, destructive fire.  Yet Christ chose this to parallel to the tongue.  Evidently, Christ considered the tongue to be of great importance.  It takes only one word to put a sibling, parent or friend down.  On the other hand, it takes only one word to build them up!  Not only our words, but our tone also says a lot.  This is vitally important as young women!

As I began looking up verses on the tongue, I found it has an important place in the Bible.  There are a multitude of verses speaking on this subject.  One which I felt was particularly meaningful for us ladies trying to live after the Proverbs 31 model is Proverbs 31:26 “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”  Not only does she speak kindly, but also wisely.  She understands when is a time to speak, and when not to.  She understands what to say and what not to at that time.  This is further emphasized by Psalm 37:40 “The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.”  He (or she) doesn’t waste words, talking of things with no meaning.  “In her tongue is the law of kindness”.  This statement really says a lot.  Are we speaking with the “law of kindness”?  Is it always on our lips, faithfully being spoken?

We’re to have a “meek and quiet” spirit.  This is an entire attitude that reaches into every corner of our lives, including how we speak.  This isn’t to say we should speak in barely audible whispers.  J  However, yelling or screaming, or speaking in a harsh voice are not at all “meek and quiet”.  Likely, all of us have, at one time or another (or perhaps more frequently than we’d care to admit), spoken in this manner.  I believe a Christ-like lady would speak in gentle, affirmative tones.  Again, I don’t think it’s wrong to call out, but if it’s necessary, carefully evaluate your voice.  Is it pleasant, so that whomever you’re calling (your siblings in for lunch, for example) will want to run to you, or is it sharp and cross so that they’ll come slowly and with dread?  Sometimes, our tone says more than our words.

I was thinking of the many things we can utter- encouraging words, discouraging words, affirming, degrading, positive, negative.  It’s rather interesting to note that it takes the same amount of time (mere seconds) to praise or encourage someone, as it does to bring them down.  Why then, do we so often choose the latter?  We must train ourselves to fight against Satan, his lies, and his temptations which often seem particularly strong in this area.

I can’t begin to count the number of times a person has encouraged me when I most needed it, or praised me on something I’d spent a lot of time working on.  And they truly were “like choice silver”.  (see Proverbs 10:20)  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could be a walking, talking blessing?  We’d be making a huge step in that direction if we carefully thought through our words before speaking.  We could praise or encourage people all day, and it wouldn’t even take extra time!  You can continue scrubbing a pan while telling your sibling that you noticed they did a really great job with their chores.  You don’t need to stop whipping together a casserole in order to tell your Mom you appreciate her, or your Dad that you appreciate all he does.  On the flip side, what do we often do?  Tell our sibling he needs to stop being so lazy, grumble about what we get stuck doing…???  (please note with the “drastic” difference in the above sibling examples: I’m not saying you should lie to a sibling, but that you should find something in which to praise them.  Also realize that it is okay to point something out that needs to be worked on- but please, carefully evaluate the spirit in which you give this unasked for advice! J)

Not only is it important to speak uplifting words to someone, but as Rebecca Sisk stated, to speak uplifting words about them.  You should see my brothers’ face(s) when they overhear me telling a friend what great brothers I really do have.  Though I don’t always succeed, I enjoy telling others about the blessing my family has been in my life.  Whether our family or friends hear directly what we’re saying about them matters not.  Just by telling someone what a wonderful blessing my Mom is, I’m raising the friend’s opinion of her, and in a unique way, building Mom up.

Another way in which to lift each other up is to defer praise.  One recent example is my strawberry patch.  I’ve been so busy this year, that it was getting sadly neglected until my sister Brooke (9) started doing all the weeding for me, and when the harvest came, she did much of that as well.  Not only was I able to praise and thank her, but I’ve received frequent compliments about how wonderful the strawberries are, and have been able to say, “Thank you, but the praise is do Brooke.  See, she’s taken over all the weeding this year…”  My siblings light up with the biggest smile when I talk about them this way.

Unfortunately, controlling the tongue to be used in a way that’s honoring to God is not an easy thing for me.  Lately, I’ve been trying especially hard to watch how I use it.  This is where humbleness has come into play, as I’ve spoken (or perhaps not spoken- not giving someone a due word of praise) to quickly.  As I’m allowing God to humble me, I can go back and apologize to them.  This, I’ve found, is vitally important when we do stumble and fall, as we’re sure to at some time or another.

Will you embark on this journey with me?  A journey who’s fruit- good or bad- will carry on into eternity?  Will you walk with me in attempt to be women of God?  Here lies a fork in the road- will you choose to lift up or to tear down?

(All Scripture taken from the King James Version.)