The Proverbs 31 Daughter

“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies…”

“Favor is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised…”

“She worketh willingly with her hands…”

 In Proverbs 31 is laid out an example of what a virtuous woman is—her deeds, her reputation, her character—how God intended women to be. This chapter in Proverbs covers nearly everything pertaining to virtuous womanhood from necessary skills to attitude to treatment of others.

  Often this chapter in the Bible is looked at as instruction to married women only, but is Biblical womanhood unattainable unless you are married? No, that is not the case, although there are many who think so. We can be virtuous ladies now—it is not necessary for our virtue to have a husband. Right now, our authority is our father and nearly any where in Scripture that it refers to husbands, we can translate it as “father”. There are a few exceptions, but generally you can.

  The woman of Proverbs 31 is an amazing, exceptional lady. She is frugal, handy with a needle, compassionate, business savvy, a helpmeet to her husband, wise, industrious, organized….Sometimes she seems like superwoman, but don’t all examples at one time or another?  Probably if you were to talk to her, she would tell you of days that her kitchen counter was stacked to the ceiling with dishes waiting to be washed, her house a wreck, and company due any minute. But she would also tell you of how God was her strength on the days when she felt she couldn’t get of bed, and how He kept her through her trials.

Verse 12 says: “She will do him (her husband) good and not evil all the days of her life” (emphasis mine). Notice it doesn’t say all the days of their life together, but all the days of her life. How can you do someone good if you don’t know who he is? I wondered about this for a while after I realized what that verse said. I prayed and asked the Lord to help me “do good and not evil” to my future husband, and these are some of the revelations that have come from praying that prayer.

1.       Pray for your husband. Yes, even though you don’t know who he is, still pray for him everyday. Pray that the Lord will strengthen him in his walk with God, and that God will draw him close the His side. Pray that God will help him become a strong spiritual leader with a vision for your future family.

2.       Ask God to help you become a virtuous woman of God.  Ask Him to fill your heart with His love as never before and to let that love flow freely to everyone you come in contact with. Ask God to give you a sweet, submissive, servant’s spirit. If you are still living at home, you can train to become a helpmeet by helping your father.  This in itself will be a huge blessing to your husband.  A wife that already possesses a meek and quiet spirit and is a helpmeet with a vision for seeing the Biblical family restored will bring untold joy to the heart of her husband.

3.       Another way that we can do good and not evil is by keeping our hearts for our husbands only.  How we can do that is by giving them to our fathers.  Trusting our fathers to guide us in all truth and trusting God enough to sit back and wait until He brings our husbands to us is the best thing to do.

  The virtuous woman is no lie-a-bedJ---verse 15. She is a wise manager of her time. This verse has made me hang my head in shame several times, as getting out of bed early in the morning is not one of my strongest points. But according to scripture, this is a habit of a woman of virtue. This doesn’t necessarily mean that we must get up with the sun, but it does mean that we aren’t to lie around in bed all day. It means that we are to be conscious with how we spend our time. We are not to “eat the bread of idleness” (verse 27), but use every minute that God gives us to glorify Him, whether it be in simply mopping the floor, or ministering to the needy.

Verses 13, 19, 21, 22, and 24 deal with the manufacturing of clothing not only for herself, but her entire family. It is very near impossible to find modest, beautiful clothing lately, and it is a great asset to be able to sew. Daughters who sew have an opportunity to be a great blessing to their busy mother. Does your little sister need some new dresses, but Mom hasn’t had time to make them yet? If you can’t sew, is there something that you can do for your mother that would free up her time so she could sew?  Sewing is also a way to be good stewards of the finances God gives us. It is much cheaper (most times, unless you can find clothing on sale) to make your own clothes than to buy them, and when you make your own clothing, it is “tailored” to youJ.

 Verses 14 and 15 speak of feeding her family. A good cook is always admired and sought after. The preparation and serving of food has long been considered a feminine jurisdiction. (Not to ignore that there are a great many men that can cook, and cook well, but for the purpose of this article, we are going to view it as feminine traitJ) A daughter who cooks can be a great blessing to her parents, particularly her mother. My mother always greatly appreciates when I either help her with the meals or take care of them completely.   It can be very hard to stop right in the midst of a spelling lesson with a son that would rather be playing outside and go cook lunch and then have to come back an hour or two later and try to pick up where your left off, and if the daughter who can cook offers to take over the meal that day, it is a gift from GodJ to Mom.

 I think a verse that we as daughters could apply here is James  4:17 :

“Therefore to him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is a sin.

 This Scripture convicts me so many times!  If I see the dishes piled in the sink, but Mom told me I didn't have to worry about it, but I don’t have anything else to do, and she is up to her ears in things needing to be done, if I know it’s right for me to do those dishes, and I don’t do it, it’s the same as if I just murdered someone, or told a lie. This applies in every other area of our lives too.  If I know that it would be an encouragement to my brother to compliment him on some work that he’s done, and I don’t, it’s a sin.

To really become a Proverbs 31 daughter, we must learn to put other’s wishes and desires and needs above our own.  It takes self-denial to do the laundry for Mom or bake bread so she can do something else when you’d rather be doing anything but the thing you’ve been asked (or volunteered) to do.  We must be cheerful givers of our time and ourselves to become virtuous women of God. ~R.C.S.

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Featured in the September 2006 issue of  With all of  Thy Heart. (c) 2006  With all of Thy Heart E-zine